The bottom line is that Java players simply cannot play with Bedrock players. Here is a small explanation and alternative methods of enjoying the sandbox game together.

Why do so many java players hate on minecraft bedrock edition? I think it has to do with how bedrock is much slower and more ...

For the Java Edition, cross-play with the Bedrock is not officially supported. However, tools like GeyserMC allow the Bedrock players to connect to the Java servers easily.

Java players and Bedrock players can’t team up and play together, even if they are both on PCs. The two versions just can’t work together. If you have a friend or group that plays Java, then ...

Microsoft explains more: "The Bedrock Edition of Minecraft is available on consoles, mobile devices, and computers running Windows. Cross-platform play is supported with other Bedrock players.